Ancestors

My parents are divorced and I only really know the history of my mother’s side of the family.  I took pride in the fact that they emigrated from Hungary and lived hard working lives as farmers. They came here around 1912 as outlaws in the Bolshevik Revolution. My maternal ancestors were farmers in a rural area in Northern New Jersey, which is also where I grew up in a very dominantly white middle and working class area. I know my father’s side of the family was much wealthier than my mother’s, and that they also resided in the north, but I have essentially no information on how long they were there and if they had slaves at all. Whenever people would talk how it is white people’s ancestors who were slave owners and the oppressors that created white supremacy, I always took a sort of silent comfort thinking that my Hungarian ancestors were red-neck farmers who became educated teachers whom spoke out against racism (as my grandfather was actively anti-racist in the 1960’s). I complacently accepted a less oppressive story, because I could afford to. However, I never have even bothered to think about (before this reading) that for one, my father’s ancestors could have been slave owners and two, that even though my maternal ancestors were hard working farmers, that they’re ability to move up in society and even be commended as hard workers, is a result of our white privilege. I am part of a race, and for the majority of my life I have been ignorant to the way it has shaped my life- for the better. My initial reaction to this is that I don’t deserve to be where I am not, as it has undeniably been at the expense of non-white counterparts. However, upon further reflection I do not know if deserve is the right word, or at least am uncomfortable with the guilt that it makes me feel when that which I have been born to is so far beyond my control. Should I still be appreciative of the hard-work of my ancestors, even though it stands on the shoulders of white supremacy? Can I accept this and still be proud of my family, and instead be upset with the fact that hard working non-white families did not get what they deserved?